You’re not the problem. Your focus is

The first instinct of many elite performers is to blame themselves for a failed pursuit or goal.

But what if it's not you at all?

What if the real problem is where you're placing your focus?

Most people waste time obsessing over their shortcomings.

You're constantly dissecting past failures, missing the real opportunity to move forward.

Today, I'll walk you through how to reset your priorities so you can focus on things that drive progress.

🗯️ Turning Setbacks into Strengths

I spent years beating myself up for my mistakes.

I had achieved lots of goals, but I failed some.

And each time I failed, I took time to analyze how I was possibly not good enough.

I started to doubt my abilities.

My confidence wavered, and I gradually lost trust in myself.

I became reluctant to take on bigger pursuits, not because I lacked the skills to pull them off, but because I ran out of motivation.

Self-criticism, self-doubt, and self-critique had drained all my energy and left me believing I was not who I thought I was.

I believed I was not the kickass performer, the goal-getter, the intellectual Navy SEAL that had achieved all these great feats.

I started to feel like an impostor.

Like I didn't deserve the level of success I had reached.

Then something happened.

I failed again.

I fell for those thoughts of self-doubt and lost a 100-mile Leadville race I had trained and prepared for.

Then I sunk low into self-judgment again.

But this time, I didn't stay low.

I redirected my focus and went back years later to put that demon to rest.

I completed the race, and I won that goal.

I've never stayed low in the face of setbacks since then.

🧠 You Are Focusing on the Wrong Things

When you expect nothing short of excellence from yourself, it's easy to get trapped in the "maybe it's me" thinking.

You start your day charged up, ready to tackle the big challenges ahead.

But then, something doesn't go as planned.

A missed target, a tough conversation, or a lost client.

You think, "If I had just pushed harder, it would have worked."

So you analyze every misstep, convinced that the problem is you.

It's as if you're looking for a flaw that explains the frustration.

You're fixated on what didn't work, the imperfections, the missed steps, how you almost closed the deal, or the person who let you down.

These thoughts operate from a place of doubt instead of ownership, and they drain your energy.

You're not just critiquing your work; you're doubting your entire journey.

Instead of focusing on growth, you're engaging in negative self-talk, paralyzed by the fear of failure.

The pressure starts to affect your creativity.

It soon spirals into a cycle of stagnation, second-guessing your decisions and abilities.

The confidence you had when you embarked on that goal starts to fade.

Your pursuit of that achievement has lost its energy and drive.

You've got the drive, the vision, and the skills, but you're not making progress.

Because you were not careful to draw the line between self-assessment and self-judgment.

❤️ Turn The Focus Away From You

The key to continuous success is constantly seeking ways to improve.

Instead of zooming in on what's wrong and what you can't do, imagine pouring all that energy into what you can do.

When you move from brief self-assessment to problem-solving, you'll be able to extract meaningful insights from any challenge.

You become genuinely excited and recharged to try again.

It's as if you've renewed trust in your instincts.

You start to operate not out of fear of making mistakes but out of the drive to make an impact.

You're still demanding excellence from yourself, but without the constant "I should have done it better" self-judgment.

And with every step, you move closer to becoming what you've always envisioned with confidence and grit.

Focused, resilient, and ready for what's next.

And when the doubts creep in?

Remember, those thoughts are just thoughts.

They don't define you.

You failed? So what?

You missed the target? Sure. Now, how can you ensure you hit it next time?

Choosing to focus on your strengths doesn't mean you're ignoring the challenge; it means you're prioritizing what matters.

That's how you keep moving forward.

🤲 Redirect Your Focus for Real Impact

It's okay to assess your errors.

But don't dwell on them.

Here's how you can focus on what matters — a solution.

1. Reframe the setback as information, not judgment: Don't label mistakes as proof that you're "not good enough." Instead, treat them as data, as simple information without any emotional weight. That's how you direct your focus to extract valuable insights from your mistakes.

2. Create a 'quick win' ritual to regain focus: Think of the skills, gifts, strengths, and expertise that have helped you overcome similar challenges. You've come a long way and you've conquered many obstacles. So why is this any different? Would you rather allow a setback to set you back after all you've achieved to get here? Not a familiar challenge? Think back to your past successes. Find strength in your wins to renew trust in yourself. Once your mind is shifted from self-critique to self-assurance, you're ready to try again.

3. Reflect on how this challenge serves your growth: Ask yourself, "What is this challenge teaching me that will make me even better?" Don't analyze the misstep, assess the lessons. What has it taught you? Use the lessons to create advanced tactics or strategies to win.

What Will You Focus On?

Are you doubling down on your strengths, or just tearing down your flaws?

You’re not the problem.

Funny thing is the challenges aren’t the problem either.

They are just push-points for bigger wins.

To reach higher levels of success, you need to overcome the challenges that come with it.

In the words of Helen Keller: “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

So get off that self-blame and create a masterpiece out of your mistakes.